walking like a normal, organic man - Re-Animator (1985)

Herbert West: Worst Housemate of the Decade Award Winner

Apologies for this issue dropping a day late, I was busy doing very normal things in the basement, please do not look in the fridge.

Spoilers, of course. Also, this one’s going to be a bit more succinct (meaning I won’t go into detail about every aspect of the plot) as I’m on a deadline for a couple of writing projects and also I was ill when I watched this movie so I’m pretty sure I actually fever-hallucinated quite a bit of it.

(also a brief CW for a mention of sexual assault)

Re-Animator

Director: Stuart Gordon

Based on: “Herbert West - Reanimator” by H.P. Lovecraft

Starring: Jeffrey Combs, Bruce Abbott, Barbara Crampton, David Gale, Robert Sampson

Running time: 86 minutes

Original release date: October 18, 1985

the plot, in brief

Herbert West is a scientist. Herbert West is a genius. Herbert West may have invented a way to reanimate the dead. Unfortunately, all three of these things are bad news for his new friend, fellow medical student Dan Cain.

and now, The Horror The Horror presents: Stuart Gordon’s Re-Animator in five unhinged moments

In no particular order (okay, ,VAGUE chronological order)

the opening

Our introduction to Herbert West (Jeffrey Combs) comes when a nurse on the campus of the University of Zurich Institute of Medicine calls the campus police. She leads the officers to the office of Dr. Hans Gruber (not that one obviously) (this one’s played by Al Berry), as strange and rather bloodcurdling noises can be heard coming from inside. Knocking on the door, the nurse increasingly desperately calls Dr. Gruber’s name. One of the two officers, seemingly cognizant of the fact that Dr. Gruber is not alone, starts calling for a Mr. West.

Eventually, the trio barges down the door and is greeted with a sight you would absolutely have Some Significant Trouble explaining to anyone who asks you “anything interesting happened at work today?”. Dr. Gruber, several shades of purple and grey at once, in some state of decay and frantic, convulsing on the floor. Kneeling over him, his student, Herbert West. Everyone watches in horror as Dr. Gruber… like, explodes all over the place.

Like that, yeah.

Anyway, West starts babbling about “the dose being too big” and gets dangerously close to going full Eddie Redmayne in Jupiter Ascending as he tells the nurse that he did not in fact kill Dr. Gruber but GAVE HIM LIFE.

Do we have a new addition for the THTH Messy Bitch Who Lives For Drama Hall of Fame, I think we do, Herbert West, you may join Lestat de Lioncourt and be messy bitches together.

“cat dead, details later”

West, as we probably would all do, leaves Zurich and arrives at Miskatonic University in Arkham, Massachusetts to further his studies. Upon arrival, he meets and promptly unnerves the bejesus out of his fellow student, Dan Cain (Bruce Abbott), thusly:

Dan Cain: [meeting for the first time] So West, what kind of medicine are you involved in?

Herbert West: Death.

Cain, who is looking for a roommate to split the rent with, later gets a knock at his door from West, who has seen Cain’s wanted advert and is there to move in. Like, immediately. West converts Cain’s basement into a makeshift science lab, and further continues to win hearts and minds when Cain finds what used to be his cat, dead in West’s mini-fridge. West’s explanation?

Herbert West: I didn't want to stink the place up. I was going to show you.

Dan Cain: You couldn't call, or write a note?

Herbert West: I was busy pushing bodies around, as you well know. And what would a note say, Dan? "Cat dead, details later"? I knew you were fond of it.

I mean, I don’t know if it’s the fever and exhaustion talking but ol’ Herbie boy kind of has a point, like. Just a bit.

Oh yeah, he then reanimates the cat with the reanimating reagent he has invented (the same one he used on Dr. Gruber), but the cat comes back wrong so Cain has to kill it again before West manages to reanimate what’s left of it because Of Course He Does.

Herbert West really fucking hates pencils and also Dr Carl Hill

God bless whoever it is that decided to take time out of their day and create this montage, I salute you.

Dr. Hill (David Gale) is a terrible, awful pervert (he will later try to sexually assault Barbara Crampton’s Megan, who is the daughter of the dean and Cain’s girlfriend) and a plagiarist (West points out that he quite clearly plagiarized Dr. Gruber’s work, a fact which irks West to no end) , but while he stands a significant bit taller than Herbie my lad, West has no problem cutting him to size verbally and it’s a delight to watch Jeffrey Combs break pencils and egos (well, ego) as bitchy little nerd West.

The West/Cain Variety Hour

Ah yes, another entry in the “glowing green goop” canon of body horror cinema.

Anyway, post-cat-reanimation Cain is convinced of West’s reagent and its capabilities, and against the wishes of the dean, the two break into the hospital’s morgue and seek to find a new test subject. Combs and Abbott as West and Cain have such a naturally fun chemistry that it’s delightful to watch them commit Medical Malpractice Plus together, trying to find the exact right corpse to reanimate while spouting bon mots at each other.

Dr. Hill walking like a normal, organic man in possession of all of his extremities and also his head

Hill goes to West’s laboratory and attempts to blackmail him into surrendering his reagent and the accompanying project notes, hoping to take credit for the invention. West, as only a messy bitch who lives for drama could, clobbers him from behind with a shovel and decapitates him (while shouting PLAGIARIST!).

Unfortunately, West then makes a mistake by reanimating Hill’s body and head separately, and while questioning Hill’s head (Hill rasping WEEEEEEEEEEEST. YOUUUUU BAAAAAAAAASTARD ❤️), his body sneaks up behind him and knocks West out.

There then follows the absolute greatest bit of physical comedy in the whole movie, Hill’s body tries to inconspicuously carry his head (along with West’s notes and the reagent) back into his office. While looking like this.

And moving like he’s just learned that the concepts of movement and walking forwards exist. It’s so giving Vincent D’Onofrio as Edgar in Men in Black, and I’m so sad I can’t find a clip of it because the walk itself is 11/10 no notes but there’s also the response from Mace the security guard (Gerry Black), who is sat outside the office and who takes one look at this vision of insanity and immediately decides it’s time for his lunch break.

I mean, who amongst us would not, I know I would. Man, this movie is great, I hope I didn’t hallucinate most of it.